1. Wait for the one time per year when Dallas is immobilized by ice.
2. Light a fire, put all your food outside in the ice, and generally stabilize the situation.
3. Find some once used disposable cupcake pans in the cabinet, and coat the insides of the “pools” with butter.
4. Break an egg into each buttered section. Also wrap some bread in aluminum foil.
5. Put the foiled bread into the side of the fire place. Hold the egg filled pan over the fire.
6. Get bored. Constantly shift pan of eggs around in fireplace. Look for the perfect cooking spot. Discover that best spot is sort of under the rack that holds the fire.
7. Cook until eggs look like cooked eggs. Stab the center and slightly over cook to be sure.
8. Rotate bread inside fireplace. Remove eggs and pop them out of pan with a fork.
9. Open up pieces of bread and put an egg and a piece of cheese inside each one. Wrap each sandwich in full and put on edge of fireplace.
10. After a few minutes and one rotation, remove from fireplace, unwrap and eat.
11. Get a very smug (somewhat unfounded) feeling that, much like Shaun of the Dead, you were born for this shit.
Rika Confesses 
That looks pretty tasty! And you just reminded me that I haven’t eaten since I had a similar sandwich from Starbucks this morning. Oops.
Can you believe Chris and I drove up to Dallas today — in this bullshit weather? Well, actually we rode with a friend, and it was pretty terrifying. Eff this weather (unless I’m home and don’t need to leave the house).
It’s the other drivers that will get you killed! I didn’t even go out today, except a walk around my neighborhood.