All the times when people writing “Worst Dressed” lists had head-in-ass, compiled for your viewing pleasure.
Bai Ling’s Dragon Dress at 2015 MTV Music Awards
Daily Mail was among several sites to list Bai Ling’s dragon attire on a worst dressed list entitled in part “And the award for worst dressed goes to.. the girl with the dreadful dragon costume.. risks that don’t pay off at MTV Movie Awards.” That is a title that should be on a “Worst Wrote” list somewhere. (Yes, awkward grammar intentional.)
Opinions of the wordy pundits at Daily Mail aside, this one is an easy one for Best Worst. Its clothing, and its a dragon. And its a well made dragon. What’s more, its flattering – the dragon looks good, she looks good, her hair and makeup look good. Nothing about this dress makes Bai Ling look worse than Bai Ling looks. Its also a dragon. Dragons are probably at this moment at an all-time peak of on-trend-ness, something that I would have expected more sites to be aware of. Sure its a bit crazy and atypical. These are good things. Even the Daily Mail’s commentary on the dragon dress almost reads like a compliment – “The 48-year-old actress flaunted her figure in a gold corset style type (sic) that resembled armour, featuring a giant dragon rearing its head over her shoulder.” Despite the carelessness with words and the misuse of the term “giant” in regards to dragons – that IS a compliment.
Also – is Bai Ling actually 48? A quick check reveals that the internet generally agrees that Bai Ling was born in 1966. So basically, she has no physical signs of age on her body, and wore a dragon. The internet made fun of her. Who’s really winning?
Laura Dern’s Alberta Ferretti armor dress at the 2015 Oscars
In another example of Daily Mail giving a compliment when they mean to be insulting, Laura Dern wore this dress that “seems to have taken inspiration from a knight’s armour” at the 2015 Oscars, and subsequently on the Daily Mail’s Red Carpet Worst Dressed list. Once again, its flattering, its unusual, it looks like armor. That’s a good thing.
Zendaya’s white dress at the 2015 Oscars – and also her hair
And now in “news that everyone else has already talked about”… The photo and link above comes from Fashion Bomb Daily, which did not, in fact, put this look on a worst dressed list. The critic who nominated this one was Gulianna Rancic on Fashion Police – whose remarks have already been thoroughly discussed and reacted to.
Instead, I’d like to comment on the actual look itself. Although you never hear about it in the press, this ensemble actually consisted of two pieces – the famous hairstyle, and also a dress! The dress in question is flattering and a little old Hollywood. The hair is not the cop-out complement to the dress, yet isn’t extreme or stiff looking or harsh or limp or pointy or any of the other things that hairstyles tend to be when they go too far towards “unexpected”. The hairstyle is a weighty balance for the light drape for the dress. The makeup is also spot on, and her eyebrows look awesome too.
I’m not a big fan of fashion critics dogging looks that are this flattering – and for the record her hair is well done and looks neat and clean and looks like it smells way less like patchouli than this guy:
Selena Gomez’s white tassel dress at Met Gala
Cambio.com’s Met Gala worst dressed list brings us another under rated white dress. According to their almost apologetic remarks, “Selena missed the mark in this white Vera Wang gown and matching headpiece.”
Now I’ll allow that the headpiece sucks – (is it part of a milk maid costume, or underwear worn incorrectly?) – and the pose in this particular photo adds to the overall look of benignly, generically demure. But the dress itself is pretty damn good. Its classic from a distance, but up close the details make it unique. Tassels hang from the contrasting shoulder straps, and the peek-a-boo window isn’t over done or risking a wardrobe malfunction. And it also fits perfectly, and is flattering. In fact, I’d wear this dress to a wedding, if I had any weddings coming up that were my own.
Anne Hathaway’s gold future dress at the Met Gala
For my final exhibit, I bring you another example of a website that doesn’t know good things when they comment on good things. “The dress itself is well-made and the fabric looks like liquid gold, but we just can’t get on board with the hood,” writes Stylist on Anne Hathaway’s Met Gala sheath dress.
The hood is awesome. It drapes in just the right way, exactly the way a character designer would drape a hood on a video game character when not subject to the wind and hot messiness of real life.
The fabric does in fact look like liquid gold, but not the too liquid kind of gold that clings in all the wrong, overly personal ways. The fabric is just right; the cut of the dress is just right – showing off a little bit of her shape while still being column-like in a stately way. But the hood is the balance here. With the hood, this dress is what the best and wisest incarnation of The Hitchhiker’s Guide’s Trillian might have worn to a state occasion. Without the hood, its what your mother-in-law might have worn to a wedding during an experimental-but-not-too-experimental phase.